The Daily Motherhood Diary | entry 7

Entry 7 | January 2021

"The Angry Mom" Written Word by Alexandria Chavez

Today, I broke. I yelled at the top of my lungs, only after clenching my teeth and feeling the heat of my blood rush through my veins as I begged to bury my emotions.

The crushing sensation of hostility fills my atmosphere and I am unable to escape.

It feels like breathing underwater.

I give in, and I surrender to my distress.

Why am I always angry? I don’t want to be the “angry mom,” the one who’s always yelling.

The soreness of my throat is accompanied by a weak & raspy whimper.

And I realize that there is something deeper…...

I beg the questions, “Have I gotten enough sleep, had a shower, or even a glass of water?

To all, which I answered no.

It is here in this space…..where I began to explore my anger, that I find what I'm looking for.

There is a tenderness to my fury; a blessed invitation to receive more compassion...

To embody more forgiveness.

I can only arrive here authentically if I am nakedly honest about what my heart is expressing.

As I look into the eyes of my frustration, I am able to gently whisper a reminder of my virtuousness; unraveling my pain & setting it free.

Allowing myself to understand its teachings, my relationship with anger becomes more fruitful.

I listen, instead of neglect…….

I bring my anger close to me, and I cradle it with the warmth of my mothering nature.

I am not an angry mom…..

I am a sleepy mom, an overworked mom, an imperfect mom.

Today, I am a mom who yelled and got angry…….

but I am NOT…..a bad mom.