The Daily Motherhood Diary | entry 1

Entry 1 | January 15, 2021

"Pressure"

Written word by Alexandria Chavez

"I have a profound sense of peace that gently hovers over the many layers of emotion I already carry. My body is tired. The peace I felt moments ago begins to fade away; I'm clinging to it.....begging it to stay a little longer. Sometimes I hate myself......I hate the way I mother my child. That confession stirs up a sea of emotions within me....I can feel the upstream about to flood.

But I push it down. I am tired of crying and never feeling better. I used to deeply understand myself. I always knew what i needed. Becoming a mom took that from me.

Now I cry & I don't even know why......I feel so much pressure. I am suffocating....

But I always smile, I still laugh....so maybe i'm doing something right."